Funny Kindergarten Teacher Confessions

We asked kindergarten teachers in our Teacher Discount Club Facebook Group and other teacher groups on Facebook to share the funniest things that have happened in their classrooms. Their responses were hilarious, so get ready for a good laugh. Here's what they said... 

One of my students told me  "I’m drawing a picture of you Mrs. G." I responded, "Oh good. Make me skinny!" He looks at me. Looks at the picture. Looks at me again, and says “I think I’d better start over!” I died laughing. - Regina H.

I have a student who has been very shy all year and is just coming out of her shell. We were playing with play dough and it was time to clean up. As she was putting it away she just starts to uncontrollably giggle. She says, "My play dough farted." I had to giggle with her. It was greatness. - Tina S.

Several years back the kids were playing with the farm animals. One little boy knocked over a horse and yelled “Oh no! He’s not breathing... give him VCR!” - Deb. C.

I have a highly intelligent child in my room and one day he said something he shouldn't have. When I called to tell mom, I whisper spelled the word into the phone. He looks straight at me and says "You don't have to spell a d-a-m thing for me because I can spell" to which I wanted to reply "Well you didn't spell that correctly!" But I refrained - Heather S.

One of my boys came up to me after using the restroom and said, "Teacher I don’t need to wash my hands since I didn’t need to point my peepee in the toilet." -Alison F.

We had made it to the last day of school, after counting the each day as part of our math, a sweetie told me "That's a lot of days! And you didn't even die!" All I could say was, "No, I survived" - Laura B.

One of my girls was late and I asked her why she was late. She told me that mommy and daddy were in the shower a long time and wouldn't get out. -  Melissa D.

In the middle of a reading group a little girl stopped and said: "I'm never going to drink beer or tequila when I grow up because then you get in trouble. It's ok though, the policeman says mommy can get the blowy thing out of her car soon." - Katie M.

I had a student break down and cry during snack. I asked him what was wrong, and he said: "I don't want to eat cantaloupe! They're so cute when they run!" He thought cantaloupe came from antelopes. - Katie M.

A student didn't know what a peacock was during a zoo read aloud. When I showed the picture, he said, "Oh wow, that's a nice bird but the name of it has a nasty word in it..." I got really nervous for a second and he continued, “It starts with the word pee, that's kinda gross, right?" Phew! Saved by the innocence! - Aja O.

A few years ago we were twisting crepe paper to make tentacles for an octopus. One little boy called out "Mrs. F. I have lost one of my testicles." I think he meant tentacles. - Gena F.

It was the first day of school. I saw a kindergartener whose brother had been in my class a few years before. He stopped me and exclaimed, “I know you, you’re Ms...Ms...Ms. America”. No I’m not, but I’ll take it. - Janet R.

I was reading a book about animals and asking students what sound each animal makes. The students would, moo, bark etc. I came to the page with a hedgehog on it, and I asked the question. I got lots of blank looks, then one little boy says, “prick, prick, prick.” - Michelle T.  

I was teaching in a rural area and one of my girls came in so excited to tell, "I saw two donkeys playing leapfrog on the way to school!" I had her tell the story to all my coworkers. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever been told. - Kari P.

It was my 40th birthday and I was sitting at the lunch table with my students and one little boy across for me said "Mrs. W., how do you feel now that your life is half over?" - Sasha W.

I do door duty every morning. I always tell every student good morning. One day a kid tells me, ”Good morning. You have snow breath.” I asked “What?” She replied, “You know, snow breath! And exhales a long breath.” It was so cold you could see your breath. Snow breath! I love it. - Sherri C. 

A  boy came back to school after being out for three days. When he walked in I said, "Welcome back, were you ill?" He quickly answered, "No, I was sick." - Lauren M., kindergarten

I worked in a tiny K-5 rural school, with a teaching principal, two regular educators & multi-age classrooms. The principal would hand out paychecks on Friday. One of my students asked, "What's that?" I say, "It's my paycheck." My student replies, "Oh, you work somewhere?" - Deborah B.

Have a funny story to add? Join our Facebook Group and then post your story in the group. We'll add the ones that make us laugh the most.  

Below we have created a list of budget-friendly school supplies and materials available on Amazon with our suggestions for teachers. This site is updated daily, but prices and availability are subject to change at any time. As an Amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Happy teaching!

4 oz. Tacky Glue
4 oz. Tacky Glue
Make fun crafts and projects. 
Regular price $1.27 $2.29 Save 45%
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8 Binder Divider Tabs
8 Binder Divider Tabs
Organize lesson plans & papers.
Regular price $2.04 $4.10 Save 50%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-7.
Regular price $2.29 $4.99 Save 54%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-7.
Regular price $2.49 $4.99 Save 50%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $2.79 $4.99 Save 44%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-5.
Regular price $2.89 $4.99 Save 42%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-6.
Regular price $2.89 $4.99 Save 42%
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2 Metallic Markers
2 Metallic Markers
Label things with dark surfaces.
Regular price $2.97 $5.09 Save 42%
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2 oz. Mounting Putty
2 oz. Mounting Putty
Hang decor, artwork & projects.
Regular price $2.99 $8.68 Save 66%
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5 Binder Divider Tabs
5 Binder Divider Tabs
Organize lesson plans & papers.
Regular price $2.99 $5.25 Save 43%
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5 oz. Glue
5 oz. Glue
Make crafts or sensory slime. 
Regular price $2.99 $4.65 Save 36%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 8-12.
Regular price $3.39 $7.99 Save 58%
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Board Book
Board Book
Recommended for ages 2-3.
Regular price $3.47 $5.99 Save 42%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-7.
Regular price $3.50 $7.99 Save 56%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-7.
Regular price $3.50 $7.99 Save 56%
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12 Color Highlighters
12 Color Highlighters
Highlight texts & lesson plans.
Regular price $3.59 $11.89 Save 70%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-7.
Regular price $3.59 $6.95 Save 48%
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5 Permanent Markers
5 Permanent Markers
Write, doodle & correct papers.
Regular price $3.69 $7.97 Save 54%
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100 Animal Stickers
100 Animal Stickers
Reward student achievement.
Regular price $3.71 $11.99 Save 69%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 7-10.
Regular price $3.95 $8.99 Save 56%
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8 Color Pens
8 Color Pens
Write, doodle & correct papers.
Regular price $3.97 $9.20 Save 57%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $3.99 $6.99 Save 43%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-5.
Regular price $3.99 $6.99 Save 43%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 7-10.
Regular price $4.05 $6.99 Save 42%
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8 Binder Divider Tabs
8 Binder Divider Tabs
Organize lesson plans & papers.
Regular price $4.10 $8.09 Save 49%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-8.
Regular price $4.22 $6.99 Save 40%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
 Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $4.39 $7.99 Save 45%
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24 Mechanical Pencils
24 Mechanical Pencils
Write without sharpening.
Regular price $4.48 $12.80 Save 65%
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6 Sparkle Play-Doh Tubs (2406483263552)
6 Sparkle Play-Doh 2 oz.
Encourage fun sensory play.
Regular price $4.49 $9.99 Save 55%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 10-14.
Regular price $4.49 $9.95 Save 55%
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4 Dry Erase Markers
4 Dry Erase Markers
Write & erase on whiteboards. 
Regular price $4.49 $7.54 Save 40%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 6-9.
Regular price $4.63 $7.99 Save 42%
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Blink
Blink
Recognize colors & shapes.
Regular price $4.64 $9.99 Save 54%
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144 Eraser Tops
144 Eraser Tops
Replace used pencil erasers.
Regular price $4.64 $11.99 Save 61%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 2-4.
Regular price $4.69 $7.99 Save 41%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $4.69 $7.99 Save 41%
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Phase 10
Phase 10
Practice number sense skills.  
Regular price $4.79 $9.99 Save 52%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 10-14.
Regular price $4.79 $7.99 Save 40%
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Mad Gab
Mad Gab
Practice problem-solving skills.
Regular price $4.87 $9.99 Save 51%
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59x95 in. Curtain
59x95 in. Curtain
Update window treatments.
Regular price $4.89 $19.99 Save 76%
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5 Neon Dry Erase Markers
5 Neon Dry Erase Markers
Write & erase on whiteboards. 
Regular price $4.94 $11.49 Save 57%
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12 Scented Markers (2406070124608)
12 Scented Markers
Create anchor charts & posters.
Regular price $4.95 $10.49 Save 53%
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8 Permanent Markers (2414968602688)
8 Permanent Markers
Label supplies & materials. 
Regular price $4.97 $10.49 Save 53%
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Connect4 Game
Connect4 Game
Practice strategic thinking skills.
Regular price $4.99 $12.99 Save 62%
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5 Post-it Pads 3x3 in. (2415287730240)
5 Post-it Pads
Jot down notes & reminders. 
Regular price $4.99 $10.99 Save 55%
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Trouble Game
Trouble Game
Practice turn-taking & counting.
Regular price $4.99 $12.99 Save 62%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 8-12.
Regular price $4.99 $8.99 Save 44%
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Yahtzee Game (2406785384512)
Yahtzee
Practice math & number sense.
Regular price $4.99 $12.00 Save 58%
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Mini Jenga Game
Mini Jenga Game
Practice hand-eye coordination. 
Regular price $4.99 $10.99 Save 55%
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Slime Kit
Slime Kit
Make your own sensory slime.
Regular price $4.99 $13.99 Save 64%
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3 Multi-Color Pens
3 Multi-Color Pens
Write, doodle & correct papers.
Regular price $4.99 $8.49 Save 41%
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USB Drive 16 GB (2407873806400)
16 GB Flash Drive
Backup lessons & printables.
Regular price $4.99 $16.60 Save 70%
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Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 5-8.
Regular price $4.99 $9.95 Save 50%
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Sorry!
Sorry!
Practice turn-taking & counting. 
Regular price $4.99 $12.99 Save 62%
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Green Baseplate
Green Baseplate
Encourage fun, creative play.
Regular price $4.99 $9.99 Save 50%
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12 Yellow Highlighters (2406742425664)
12 Yellow Highlighters
Highlight texts & lesson plans.
Regular price $5.08 $11.40 Save 55%
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4 Post-it Tabs
4 Post-it Tabs
Tab & color-code documents.
Regular price $5.29 $10.75 Save 51%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 10-12.
Regular price $5.29 $8.99 Save 41%
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Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 8-12.
Regular price $5.39 $8.99 Save 40%
Visit Amazon