Funny Preschool Teacher Confessions

We asked preschool teachers in our Teacher Discount Club Facebook Group and other teacher groups on Facebook to share the funniest things that have happened in their classrooms. Their responses were hilarious, so get ready for a good laugh. Here's what they said...

One of my girls just randomly told me during circle time, “My mommy has holes in her underwear and I can see her butt.” Um, thanks for that information? - Melissa B.

This was pretty much out of the blue. It was center time and one little girl was talking to her friend and said "Mrs. R. knows lots of things, my mommy knows some things, God knows everything, but my daddy? He doesn't know anything!" - Trisha L.

During free play the other day a little boy tooted and I looked at him and asked what he needed to say. He says, “Oh excuse me!” I then said, “Thank you!” A few seconds later he says “No need to thank me Miss Kaitlyn, I’m a professional tooter”. - Kaitlyn F.

I was reading to my students and one little girl kept scooting closer and closer. I would ask her to move back and then I’d feel her next to me again. She finally started rubbing my leg and exclaimed, “Your legs are just like Mommy’s...porcupine legs.” - Teresa S.

A little girl came up to me and put her hand on my stomach and said, "Baby." I said, "No, there's no baby there." She looked at me and said, "Teacher you fat." - Jill G. 

I was talking to a co worker and I said, "Ugh! This marker is on its last leg," and a child said “Um Miss Kaitlynn, markers don’t have legs!” I was dying. - Kaitlynn F.

We were in the hall looking at the clay molds the kids in 2nd grade made. One of my students, so sure of himself said “I know what that one is, it’s a broccoliosaurus!” I said, “Oh really…” - Courtney G.

During nap time I have a little girl that does not sleep and sometimes she will lay on top of me. She once hugged me and said, "Mrs. Nicole I love your squishy belly and squishy butt..." Needless to say, I ran to the gym that night. - Nicole G.

One of my three year olds made a weird face and caught me looking at him so we stared at each other for a couple awkward seconds and then he goes, “I just burped out of my butt,” with the most serious face ever. I couldn’t stop laughing the rest of the day. - Lisa P.

After nap, one of the girls was putting on her shoes and she goes, "Ms. Jordan, sometimes my mom will call my feet bare feet when I don’t have socks and shoes on" she giggles and says, "My mom’s so funny. I don't have bear feet!" - Jordan S.

We were eating lunch in my classroom and I told one of the boys I was eating hummus. He responded, “I’ve had goat hummus before... or was it horse." - Lindsay D.

A bunch of my kids were gathered around looking at something on the floor. Thinking it was a bug, I walked over to investigate. One girl looked up at me and said, "It isn't poop, it’s play dough. See..." She stomped on it and I took off her shoe to look closer at it, and got the unpleasant smell of...poop! - Karen K.

So I'm doing a lesson on money. I hold up the $5 bill and ask if anyone remembers what this bill was while pointing to the number 5. To help I start with the sound "Fff...Fff...Fff..." A child then says "Fff...Fff...F***!", then sees my shocked face and says "No! Five. It's five. Ms. C., I think it's five." then a nervous giggle. - Tricia C.

When transitioning from circle time to snack. I said “If you have a heart (on your shirt) you may go sit down” A little boy gets up and I ask “Where is your heart?” He responds, “It’s in my belly” I say “That’s right, you may go sit down for snack.” - Lori G.

We were doing a unit on careers and jobs. That day we were talking about what their parents did. One little girl says "My mom dances and my dad counts the money." She wouldn’t change it so we had to write it on the chart. Let's hope her mom is a dancer and her dad a banker. - Tori B.

This past week during nap time I was telling a sweet boy to just lay there and be still so his friends could nap and he piped up and said, “But Miss Kaitlyn, I have a brain and a heart and just can’t control myself.” - Kaitlyn F.

We were singing wheels on the bus. When it got to the part what do daddies do? An almost two year old looks at me and tells me daddy says "What the hell!" I was so speechless. I had to get up for a second because I couldn't let her see me laughing. - Melissa W.

I was playing restaurant and a little boy asks what I would like to drink. So I ask for lemonade and he says, “We don’t have that." So I ask for a diet Pepsi. “Nope, we don’t have that,” he says. So I ask for tea. “Nope,” he says. So I ask him what he does have, and he responds “Beer. We only have beer.” - Peggy P.

I was doing a narration with my class and asked a quiet, shy little girl what she would give her mommy for Valentine's Day. She said, "a beer." It was not the answer I was expecting, so I asked some other questions. "Can you tell me about the beer?" She said, "You know... brown and furry. A beer!" She was talking about a bear! - Lisa B.

We were discussing using questioning techniques about animals. Birds was topic of the day. Holding up a book with a picture of a bird, pointing to the different parts I asked, “What are these?” until finally I got to the bill and asked what is this? A kid hollers out, “a pecker!” I did say, "Well yes, they peck their food with their bill.” - LeeAnn W.

I had to step over a group of littles at the carpet and I said, “Excuse me guys.” While I was mid-step a boy says, “Whoa! Mrs S., your butt is SO BIG!” - Amanda S.

So I was working with a student of mine and all of a sudden he tells me, “I’m a little gassy. I’m going to plug my nose. You can too.” At least he warned me, I guess... - Lori B. 

We were talking about chicken pox, and I asked one of my student, “Have you ever had chicken pox?” and he replied, “No, but I have had chicken McNuggets!” - Jennifer K. 

A few weeks ago one of my students brought in unicorns for show and tell. We were talking about how unicorns are like horses. I asked the students, “Are unicorns real?” A little boy said, “Yes, but they only existed way back in the 80’s, right Mrs. B.?”  - Sandra B.

Have a funny story to add? Join our Facebook Group and then post your story in the group. We'll add the ones that make us laugh the most.  

Below we have created a list of budget-friendly school supplies and materials available on Amazon with our suggestions for teachers. This site is updated daily, but prices and availability are subject to change at any time. As an Amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Happy teaching!

4 oz. Tacky Glue
4 oz. Tacky Glue
Make fun crafts and projects. 
Regular price $1.27 $2.29 Save 45%
Visit Amazon
8 Binder Divider Tabs
8 Binder Divider Tabs
Organize lesson plans & papers.
Regular price $2.04 $4.10 Save 50%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-7.
Regular price $2.29 $4.99 Save 54%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-7.
Regular price $2.49 $4.99 Save 50%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $2.79 $4.99 Save 44%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-5.
Regular price $2.89 $4.99 Save 42%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-6.
Regular price $2.89 $4.99 Save 42%
Visit Amazon
2 Metallic Markers
2 Metallic Markers
Label things with dark surfaces.
Regular price $2.97 $5.09 Save 42%
Visit Amazon
2 oz. Mounting Putty
2 oz. Mounting Putty
Hang decor, artwork & projects.
Regular price $2.99 $8.68 Save 66%
Visit Amazon
5 Binder Divider Tabs
5 Binder Divider Tabs
Organize lesson plans & papers.
Regular price $2.99 $5.25 Save 43%
Visit Amazon
5 oz. Glue
5 oz. Glue
Make crafts or sensory slime. 
Regular price $2.99 $4.65 Save 36%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 8-12.
Regular price $3.39 $7.99 Save 58%
Visit Amazon
Board Book
Board Book
Recommended for ages 2-3.
Regular price $3.47 $5.99 Save 42%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-7.
Regular price $3.50 $7.99 Save 56%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-7.
Regular price $3.50 $7.99 Save 56%
Visit Amazon
12 Color Highlighters
12 Color Highlighters
Highlight texts & lesson plans.
Regular price $3.59 $11.89 Save 70%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-7.
Regular price $3.59 $6.95 Save 48%
Visit Amazon
5 Permanent Markers
5 Permanent Markers
Write, doodle & correct papers.
Regular price $3.69 $7.97 Save 54%
Visit Amazon
100 Animal Stickers
100 Animal Stickers
Reward student achievement.
Regular price $3.71 $11.99 Save 69%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 7-10.
Regular price $3.95 $8.99 Save 56%
Visit Amazon
8 Color Pens
8 Color Pens
Write, doodle & correct papers.
Regular price $3.97 $9.20 Save 57%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $3.99 $6.99 Save 43%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-5.
Regular price $3.99 $6.99 Save 43%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 7-10.
Regular price $4.05 $6.99 Save 42%
Visit Amazon
8 Binder Divider Tabs
8 Binder Divider Tabs
Organize lesson plans & papers.
Regular price $4.10 $8.09 Save 49%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 3-8.
Regular price $4.22 $6.99 Save 40%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
 Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $4.39 $7.99 Save 45%
Visit Amazon
24 Mechanical Pencils
24 Mechanical Pencils
Write without sharpening.
Regular price $4.48 $12.80 Save 65%
Visit Amazon
6 Sparkle Play-Doh Tubs (2406483263552)
6 Sparkle Play-Doh 2 oz.
Encourage fun sensory play.
Regular price $4.49 $9.99 Save 55%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 10-14.
Regular price $4.49 $9.95 Save 55%
Visit Amazon
4 Dry Erase Markers
4 Dry Erase Markers
Write & erase on whiteboards. 
Regular price $4.49 $7.54 Save 40%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 6-9.
Regular price $4.63 $7.99 Save 42%
Visit Amazon
Blink
Blink
Recognize colors & shapes.
Regular price $4.64 $9.99 Save 54%
Visit Amazon
144 Eraser Tops
144 Eraser Tops
Replace used pencil erasers.
Regular price $4.64 $11.99 Save 61%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 2-4.
Regular price $4.69 $7.99 Save 41%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 4-8.
Regular price $4.69 $7.99 Save 41%
Visit Amazon
Phase 10
Phase 10
Practice number sense skills.  
Regular price $4.79 $9.99 Save 52%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 10-14.
Regular price $4.79 $7.99 Save 40%
Visit Amazon
Mad Gab
Mad Gab
Practice problem-solving skills.
Regular price $4.87 $9.99 Save 51%
Visit Amazon
59x95 in. Curtain
59x95 in. Curtain
Update window treatments.
Regular price $4.89 $19.99 Save 76%
Visit Amazon
5 Neon Dry Erase Markers
5 Neon Dry Erase Markers
Write & erase on whiteboards. 
Regular price $4.94 $11.49 Save 57%
Visit Amazon
12 Scented Markers (2406070124608)
12 Scented Markers
Create anchor charts & posters.
Regular price $4.95 $10.49 Save 53%
Visit Amazon
8 Permanent Markers (2414968602688)
8 Permanent Markers
Label supplies & materials. 
Regular price $4.97 $10.49 Save 53%
Visit Amazon
Connect4 Game
Connect4 Game
Practice strategic thinking skills.
Regular price $4.99 $12.99 Save 62%
Visit Amazon
5 Post-it Pads 3x3 in. (2415287730240)
5 Post-it Pads
Jot down notes & reminders. 
Regular price $4.99 $10.99 Save 55%
Visit Amazon
Trouble Game
Trouble Game
Practice turn-taking & counting.
Regular price $4.99 $12.99 Save 62%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 8-12.
Regular price $4.99 $8.99 Save 44%
Visit Amazon
Yahtzee Game (2406785384512)
Yahtzee
Practice math & number sense.
Regular price $4.99 $12.00 Save 58%
Visit Amazon
Mini Jenga Game
Mini Jenga Game
Practice hand-eye coordination. 
Regular price $4.99 $10.99 Save 55%
Visit Amazon
Slime Kit
Slime Kit
Make your own sensory slime.
Regular price $4.99 $13.99 Save 64%
Visit Amazon
3 Multi-Color Pens
3 Multi-Color Pens
Write, doodle & correct papers.
Regular price $4.99 $8.49 Save 41%
Visit Amazon
USB Drive 16 GB (2407873806400)
16 GB Flash Drive
Backup lessons & printables.
Regular price $4.99 $16.60 Save 70%
Visit Amazon
Picture Book
Picture Book
Recommended for ages 5-8.
Regular price $4.99 $9.95 Save 50%
Visit Amazon
Sorry!
Sorry!
Practice turn-taking & counting. 
Regular price $4.99 $12.99 Save 62%
Visit Amazon
Green Baseplate
Green Baseplate
Encourage fun, creative play.
Regular price $4.99 $9.99 Save 50%
Visit Amazon
12 Yellow Highlighters (2406742425664)
12 Yellow Highlighters
Highlight texts & lesson plans.
Regular price $5.08 $11.40 Save 55%
Visit Amazon
4 Post-it Tabs
4 Post-it Tabs
Tab & color-code documents.
Regular price $5.29 $10.75 Save 51%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 10-12.
Regular price $5.29 $8.99 Save 41%
Visit Amazon
Chapter Book
Chapter Book
Recommended for ages 8-12.
Regular price $5.39 $8.99 Save 40%
Visit Amazon